(featured image via @elayna_thejunoesque)
From the need to feel perfect to being the best at any of my personal endeavors, I have always been my own biggest critic. If I wanted to try and create a positive spin on this I could say being hypercritical of myself makes it extremely easy to take criticism at work or maybe that it helps me stay organized to prevent being unprepared. But in all honesty being my own biggest critic causes me to overthink literally everything to the point that it stresses me out and causes me to have self-doubts. These feelings have led to me try and find different outlets to help root out the negativity and lately writing has been my therapy. In the evening, as I’m winding down, I take the time to write myself a note of encouragement or a mantra to repeat when I need clarity or guidance.
Some habits are extremely hard to kill but as I travel through my self-love journey I will continue finding ways to help me overcome. I’ve been focusing on not being so hard on myself and accepting that sometimes it’s okay to be a hot mess. At some point in this lifetime, I will learn to accept my flaws, embrace my imperfections and enjoy just being me.
Here we are once again in the same predicament.
Tangled in bed sheets. Scents of last night still linger.
I promised myself I wouldn’t end up here
After last time I thought it would be easier to get up and leave
But yet here I am avoiding eye contact with you.
Maybe because it means I have to accept the fact you give me the blues.
Two days of freedom to simply be….me.
I’m actually able to laugh and focus on my dreams.
So no I don’t hate you even though you damper my fun.
Monday you just give me the blues.
(Image via thomasmainardi.com)
Detox is described as “a process or period of time in which one abstains from or rids the body of toxic or unhealthy substances.” Although this definition mainly speaks to the physical aspect of detoxing, in my opinion, detoxing can extend to your mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing too. I’m currently in the process of detoxing my life and today I want give everyone a glimpse into my journey thus far.
First on my list was purging toxic people from my life. In many cases keeping company with toxic folks can have some of the same effects as having a drug habit. They can be physically draining, ruin relationships, and generally bring nothing but unwanted stress and strife. Eliminating these individuals from my life has been extremely refreshing by lifting a boulder of negative weight from my heart and mind. I’m no longer keeping those close that did nothing to inspire, uplift, or motivate their own life or mine.
The next step was to remove many of the unnecessary complications from my day-to-day life. The simple things in life have become much more meaningful to me than materialistic things, no matter they be in the physical or digital worlds. I’ve loved the process of rediscovering the joys of having full-fledged conversations and not just interacting with 140 characters or less. Actually sitting across from someone and talking about anything ranging from currents event to future goals has been a refreshing change from reading pointless Facebook rants. Writing, as in pen and paper, has also been very therapeutic. We live in a digital world where everything is done on a screen, but I’ve found that putting my thoughts down on paper or in a journal is soothing and brings back memories of my adolescent poem writing.
This journey I’m on is still very new and I’m learning things along the way. I’m learning that no one has all of the answers so it’s up to me to be open to change and to grow from each lesson. Every day brings another chance to explore my changes to becoming a better person.
This quote holds so much power especially right now in my life. Being a friend isn’t a one sided job TRUE friends are there for the good and bad. TRUE friends don’t have to speak on a weekly basis but still know whats going on in your life. And honestly it is okay to let go of some friendships. I’m done crossing oceans for others when they won’t jump a puddle for me.
Happy Wednesday Loves,
I just wanted to start the day off on a bright note. Remember you were not made to be ordinary. Your are one of a kind so do what make you happy and always leave a trail of glitter!
In about one month I will be turning 26 and I can honestly say I am happy with the person I am today. It took a while but I’ve made it to a place where I look in the mirror and love the person smiling back unconditionally. Self-esteem was never a big issue with me outside of the normal insecurities we all go through. I always carried myself with respect and pride, but in my early 20’s I struggled with figuring out who I was in this universe. I knew I couldn’t box myself into a single category because I’ve always been a multilayered person. By 24 I had a clearer understanding of who I was: A woman who enjoys laughing at random things, has a big heart and sometimes gets a tad over emotional, is a protector to my loved ones, loving, Appalachian-raised girl with big ambition, and a lover of life. Fast forward almost two years later and I still believe I am all of those things with the additions of becoming a wife and most importantly mother. I’m a firm believer in change being natural and ongoing. My foundation is set on the aspects that make me who I am but different materials are added here and there to help keep me supported and grounded.